May the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in your sight, O Lord...

My mom got me the 6th book on Saturday. I remember in 4th grade the "thing" was Harry Potter and like everyone in my class liked HP. lol I remember me and my friends pretended to be characters from the book, and we'd play Quidditch games and stuff, and make potions and do evil spells on people we didn't like. lol I think it's ridiculous that people are so against Harry Potter. I'm a Christian, but it's not like I think J.K. Rowling's possessed and worshipping the devil just because there's witches and wizards in it. It's fiction, and it's also mainly for young adults and children, so it's got to be pretty harmless. People get so freaked out over everything these days...well, I think the books are reallllly good, and the author has a LOT of talent. I'd be interested to hear anyone's opinions on whether they think the books are "acceptable", and if they think the books go too far concerning withcraft, mainly from Christians' points of view.

Hey guys, I haven't been on in a long time (which you may or may not have noticed), but anyways, I was banned from doing ANYTHING on the computer, with the exception of checking my e-mail because of all the spyware crud all over the websites I've been to. (Mindsay and Miniclip I guess?) But, I was just wondering, have any of you had spyware recently on your computer? Possibly because of Mindsay? But I don't know how that would've happened...I think it was just from the assortment of sites everyone's been on in the past year or so, but whatever. My parents pointed their fingers at me because I'm a teenager. lol And that makes me automatically irresponsible. lol Anyway, so I'm resorting to my friend's, Kaitlyn (oscarlvr96c), computer. My parents just wouldn't let me do anything on OUR computer so it's not like I'm disobeying them. I mean, I'm allowed to go on other sites, but not on our comp because it's all messed up. OK, enough rambling on about that boring stuff...

Well, I'm totally a believer, and a hardcore Christian and stuff, but that doesn't mean I can't have questions right? Someone once told me that God can handle questioning so I guess I'm not afraid about that part...anyways, this question is about Heaven and Hell...I never have just one question, though, it's more like a whole slew of jumbled thoughts that I need someone to decipher for me!! I know, I'm weird. lol

So...Heaven. Hell. I know they exist, I totally believe they do - I believe every single thing in God's Word. (Why?? Because it's God's WORD and he never lies.) OK, so here's the question part. How do you get there? Where are they? Like, I've always imagined for Heaven (like you'd see in TV or something) your spirit would float up with wings and a white robe, and a halo and all that and just keep going up and up until it was a whole bunch of clouds and stuff. But, knowing that beyond the stratosphere there's no weather at all...and if you've been in an airplane, you know there's no Heaven over there. lol So where is it?? I guess only God knows and the people that are in it so far. Heck - the possibilities are endless. It might be in a whole different universe, or dimension, or some crazy stuff like that. lol I'm too young and confused for this stuff, though. (My same questions applied to Hell, if you were wondering...but Hell isn't nice to think about at all so I'll just keep my entry at this length, thanks.

I went to see Star Wars III last night with my stepdad. It was fun. We went at 8:30 and got home at almost 11:30pm!!! We got this new 36" TV - it's HUGE compared to my old one, which is like 24" or something. lol We have 3 TVs, and we did have 4 but we threw one away because it barely worked. It was funny, my stepdad purposely put it in the back of his truck so someone would steal it because we had nowhere to throw it away. lol Nobody did, so we ended up going to our old apartment complex and dumping it. lol We were baaad!

Well, I finally quit the clinic I'm working in (as a volunteer) so I can go work somewhere else in the hospital. For 4 1/2 HOURS I sat and watched TV, because there was nothing for me to do! Nada! Talk about boring, and today I just worked part time because my stepdad's getting out of the military, and he had his going away party at lunch time. Man, there was some goood food! KFC, green beans, apple hickory ham halks with beans, corn bread (this was a pretty southern style lunch - lol), rice with shrimp and sausage, nacho salad - hey, something a little less southern for once! lol But, I can't dis the southern food because honestly, I can't get enough of it! Then for dessert, lemon meringue pie, pecan pie, mississippi mud pie, flan, cake, cookie dough ice cream, and a lot of soda. Pretty darn good! About my job...I'm seeing if I can get transferred to occupational therapy, or physical therapy. You get to do some hands on work with patients and I think it would be a great experience! I was working in orthotics and the brace shop and stuff (like making ankle supports and leg, ankle, back, hand - you name it - braces). I pretty much just made arch supports (you know those little plastic things that you put in your shoes) for flat-footed people, or people whose feet either turned in too much or turned out. Yeah, and the rest of the time I watched TV (not willingly) but there was NOTHING else to do. I mean it! lol I was so bored that it made me exhausted! lol But, yeah, if I volunteer I want to actually interact with human beings and be busy and get a good learning experience, you know?? So, yep. Tomorrow I have the day off, and same on Monday (well, I would no matter what because it's the fourth of July holiday for like half the people at the hospital).

Today, I must've cried more than I've cried in a long, long time. I had an emotional breakdown. Literally, no joke! My stepdad blew up at me, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. (We've been having relationship issues, that aren't really that big, but we haven't been able to completely resolve them over the years he and my mom have been married.) Yesterday, I heard my parents arguing and my mom sounded so upset. Like, not the normal "married couple bickering". She's been stressed out a lot because of work mostly, and the puppy peeing everywhere (which makes my stepdad angry, and then makes mom stressed because of it), and the house is always a mess because nobody's home to clean it. (We're always at work.) But Friday I plan to clean it really good, so hopefully that'll lift her spririts! Anyways, back to the emotional breakdown that I had today...which I'm still kind of having...OK, yeah, after that my stepdad just totally told me all these things that I did wrong, and I just broke down, and totally hyperventilated - something that's never happened to me (like really bad) before, and my stepdad even got a plastic bag for me! lol In the beginning I was trying to be strong, and not cry, and accept my punishment. But it's sooo hard when you know it's sooo unfair! Like, I'm not even being immature about this, which I usually am. Is it immature to say that it's not fair that my stepdad has been constantly on me, with a bad temper, pretty much as long as I've known him? Well, we had a big long talk after that and a lot of things got straightened out, thankfully. But in the middle, here's what happened. (Sorry this is so out of sequence and disorganized!!) I was sitting in my bathroom (because it's like the only place that has a lock in our house besides the doors to the inside of our house), and I was praying out loud, and just crying. I knew for once I wasn't overreacting about the situation, and I was crying out for an answer to this muck, and also, crying that I needed it soon. I was telling God that I wanted to obey my parents but I needed a friend's shoulder to cry on (my mom was at work, plus I didn't want to make her even more stressed), so I was going to ride my bike to Kait's house while my stepdad didn't notice, then call him as soon as I got there and explain to him why I needed to do what I did...which never actually happened. Why? Because got answered my prayers! Almost as soon as I said amen. The answer was actually my stepdad himself. He came into my room and gave me a glass of icy coke. Diet, but that's ok. lol And from that point on, I could tell he was actually really listening. And that's rare for parents, when they don't take their teenage children to seriously, because they know hormones have got to be influencing them greatly. So, yep, I'm so amazed at the wonders of God, and what he can do through us, and to us!! It's awesome!! I'm so happy...